Ramble

i don't know whats wrong with me
everyone that shows even the littlest bit of interest in me i fall in love,
As foolish as it sounds that's exactly the kind of person i am.
I guess you could say i'm a hopeless romantic,
I slept all day today after a night with the biffles,
everytime i woke i frantically searched for my phone hoping to see your name,
and when i didn't i felt my heart in my stomach and i pulled the covers higher over my head and turned to the wall wishing someone was there with me facing me, no one saying a word just the two of us staring into each others eyes and maybe the occasional touch. I feel completley confused as to were i stand in kenneths life.
He says he coudn't go more than 2 days without seeing me. What happens when i'm in college and you don't see me  at school? If we even last that long.. I've been wanting somone that i can have those "deep" conversations with. I remember when you used to be the perfect one in my eyes and i let myself fall to fast and i was blinded by your kindness. little did i know it was all a hoax. I wonder how you were with here. how often you went to see her and if you ever ditched your friends for her? maybe i'm just not the one for you. Latley i've been too confused by what's going on in my head, I think i'm in love with two people. I don't really know what these feelings are. all i know is i wish my head was clear. Part of me wants to run away from all of this and leave everyone behind and see who would be there with open arms and tears of joy when i came back. What i know for sure is i want my license, i need a job, and i WANT out of HIGH SCHOOL.
i feel like i've mentally grown out of it. I hear people's conversations around me of retarted grudges and stupid ego's. Alot of them seem so kidish and immature. Like i wonder when the real world will hit them.
I can't wait to start Ohllone in january 2011, i can already feel it, and i think i belong.