i really want kix...

These past two days I've been doing a lot of thinking.

1) summer is almost here and i feel like it's way to soon.
I'm having trouble saying hello to summer this time around.
I'm scared of whom I'm going to spend summer with, if i spend it with anyone at all..
I've been so negative lately goddamn! it's so irritating, i don't know whom Else's is peeved about it but i sure am.

2) K, he's always constantly on my mind, and for some reason lately i feel like i never get to see him (probably since I've been sick on and off) I feel like I'm a burden on him. Like he'd rather being skating and hanging out with his friends. I know sitting around my house all the time isn't fun but it's all we've been able to do since I've been sick on and off. Yesterday i went to the park with him yesterday and i felt like we were little kids. I can't really put into words how it made me feel to sit on his lap on the swing and just look into his smiling eyes while he leans in to kiss me. I just wanted time to stop. Then when we were done with the park we went and walked along the highway and looked at all the graffiti. He would point out certain ones and tell their stories and i just felt so included,and it was cool to see him in his element.I felt like Kenny and i were the only two people in the world. Since it was considered trespassing it was just us two for at least an hour. besides the occasional sound of cars passing by you'd think the planet was deserted. I think yesterday i really realized how much i care for Kenny. Whenever he'd look into my eyes or reach out for my hand it felt like a bunch of butterflies were bursting out of their cocoons. Then when he held me while we sat in front of Kennedy i felt like i was going to melt into his arms. He kept me so warm even though it was so cold...

hanging out with angie today is exactly what i needed. I'm pretty sure i talk way to much but i just feel like she understands me more then most people do. We blew bubbles and chewed bubble gum outside of borders for awhile and it was again another moment of feeling infinate. I don't know what it was about it. I hope she sticks around for along time. I really enjoy her company, she's my sunshine on a cloudy day..